Pillsbury Doughboy Obituary

It is with the saddest heart that I must pass on the following news:

Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community.

The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly.

He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin.

Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies and Captain Crunch.

The grave site was piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded.

Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes.

Despite being a little flaky at times, he still, as a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough; two children John Dough and Jane Dough; plus they had one in the oven.

He is also survived by his elderly father Pop Tart.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

-Taken from http://funnybizblog.com/funny-stuff/pillsbury-doughboy-obituary-

Best Babysitter Ever! Part 1

At this point in my life, I feel as if I am the BEST BABYSITTER EVER! Check out what happened on Wednesday.

So, my sister works at a lawyer's office as a secretary, and one of the ladies that works there needed a babysitter. For the past 6 months or so, I have been babysitting for this sweet lady and her lawyer husband. They have a four year-old daughter who is cute as can be, and usually is pretty well-behaved. There is also the family dog (medium sized), who wouldn't hurt a fly.

Usually when I babysit for this family, the mom leaves us some money, and after playing at the house all morning, we take a lunchtime stroll down to the nearest plaza, buy some pizza and ice cream for lunch, and then return home for a nap.

This time, as usual, we planned to take our walk to get some pizza and ice cream, but Allyse (we'll call her that for privacy reasons) decided that she wanted to stay home instead.

No problem, pizza delivers to the house...so we ordered our pizza to be brought to the house, and when it got there, we ate half of it. The other half we left on the table top to cool down while we walked to get ice cream (because ice cream is apparently worth the walk, and pizza isn't).

After walking to Yogurtland, we returned home to find that the dog had gotten onto the table, knocked the rest of the pizza on the floor, and ate it. Like I mentioned earlier, this dog wouldn't hurt a fly, but apparently she likes to hurt pizzas.

After a half-hour or so, it was time for nap/quiet time. Allyse went to her room, I closed the door and all was well. Of course, during quiet time it is essential to go to the restroom 5 times per hour and get a couple drinks too. (that was sarcasm, for those of you out there who do not...nevermind)

Anyways, finally, Allyse REALLY had to go to the restroom, and so I let her. About 10 minutes later, I heard a little voice coming from the bathroom.

"I think the toilet is overflowing"
"I put too much paper"

...Sure enough, I go into the bathroom, and the toilet has a plenteous amount of toilet paper in it, and is on the verge of overflowing.

After sending Allyse back to her room, I proceeded to get the plunger and after 30 minutes of plunging, the toilet decides it is not going to play anymore games, and decides to overflow across the whole bathroom floor. I guess the plunger wasn't very good at it's job.

Frusterated, I decided to leave the toilet alone, and rest on the couch for awhile while Allyse finished her naptime. After naptime, I decided to give the toilet plunging another whirl...this time, I have Allyse on the floor peering between my legs as I spend another 40 minutes trying to plunge the toilet.

*giggle giggle...*rolling on the floor (quite literally) laughing... "hahahaha Christina, maybe we should call the PLUMBER!"

..."yea, no kidding" (I never did get the toilet unplugged, they really had to call the plumber)

BUT THAT's NOT IT

so we decided to leave the toilet alone, cleaned up our mess, and decided to read some books and play around the house.

The entire house is surrounded by either neighbor's walls or a fence in the front, so it is very safe for Allyse to play and run around the whole house without a ton of supervision (a check up every 5-10 minutes is quite adequate)

Well, after cleaning up a little bit around the house, I decided to go find Allyse outside and make sure she wasn't getting into any trouble.

I walk out the front door, and what do I see?

That's right: child and dog, nose to nose, child on hands and knees, drinking out of the dog's outdoor water bowl... gross. She also proceeded to "kiss" the dog (when the dog licks the inside of her mouth)

After the bout of reprimandation (I made that word up... in other words: I gave her a nice lecture on germs and the grossness of dogs mouths), Allyse was brought inside...because she didn't need to get into any more trouble.

...Later on, she decided to chew on some chap stick. (because who wouldn't want to eat that smell-good white candy in the pink strawberry tube)

I don't know how else to end this story, so this is it. Hope everyone is having a great summer!

Sunday School Stories #2

Today my sister was teaching the 2-5 year old class, and wanted to have them all write a card for their mothers for Mother's Day. Along with the homemade card, each child was to give his/her mother a bag of chocolates. When she went around to help each child with their card, she got to John, and asked him if she could help him write his card. He readily agreed, and narrated this for her to write down:

Dear mommy,
Thank you so much for sharing your chocolates with me after church.
Love,
John

Tips From A Superhero #6

Sunday School Stories (gone awry) #1

I was designated the Sunday School teacher for the 6-8 year-old class over the winter. To make the class more interesting and to help the children remember the Bible story better, I would first read the story and then have the kids act it out.

Anyways...

The story of the day was: "The Parable of the Three Servants" (read Matthew 25:14-46).

After the story was read, I assigned each child a "position" or a role that they would have to play.
I had one child as the first servant, one as the second servant, one as the third servant, and one as the master
...our play was going well, (I even had the third servant go outdoors and bury his talent/coin in the church flower beds).

We finally got to the part of the story that goes like this: "His lord answered and said unto him, Thou wicked and slothful servant, thou knewest that I reap where I sowed not, and gather where I have not strawed...and cast ye the unprofitable servant into outer darkness: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth."

We had discussed earlier in the lesson that the place with "weeping and gnashing of teeth" is Hell, and is a place that no one would want to go.

...anyways... The young girl that I had playing the role of the master goes up to the young boy who was playing the third servant.

Master: "Hello, I am back from my journey, I have come to see if you handled my money well/wisely while I was away."
Third Servant: "Oh, I was scared and I buried your money so that no one could find it"
Master: "Well, then, you can go to Hell!"
Me: !!!!!!!!! "That is actually not what he said (insert some rambling explanation here) ...and we should not say that to each other EVER!!!...

...so kids, what did we learn today?"

Too Much Homework

That moment when you have so much studying/homework to do... that you decide to take a nap instead.

...story of my life

Motivation To Study