Pillsbury Doughboy Obituary

It is with the saddest heart that I must pass on the following news:

Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community.

The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly.

He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin.

Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies and Captain Crunch.

The grave site was piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded.

Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes.

Despite being a little flaky at times, he still, as a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough; two children John Dough and Jane Dough; plus they had one in the oven.

He is also survived by his elderly father Pop Tart.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

-Taken from http://funnybizblog.com/funny-stuff/pillsbury-doughboy-obituary-

Best Babysitter Ever! Part 1

At this point in my life, I feel as if I am the BEST BABYSITTER EVER! Check out what happened on Wednesday.

So, my sister works at a lawyer's office as a secretary, and one of the ladies that works there needed a babysitter. For the past 6 months or so, I have been babysitting for this sweet lady and her lawyer husband. They have a four year-old daughter who is cute as can be, and usually is pretty well-behaved. There is also the family dog (medium sized), who wouldn't hurt a fly.

Usually when I babysit for this family, the mom leaves us some money, and after playing at the house all morning, we take a lunchtime stroll down to the nearest plaza, buy some pizza and ice cream for lunch, and then return home for a nap.

This time, as usual, we planned to take our walk to get some pizza and ice cream, but Allyse (we'll call her that for privacy reasons) decided that she wanted to stay home instead.

No problem, pizza delivers to the house...so we ordered our pizza to be brought to the house, and when it got there, we ate half of it. The other half we left on the table top to cool down while we walked to get ice cream (because ice cream is apparently worth the walk, and pizza isn't).

After walking to Yogurtland, we returned home to find that the dog had gotten onto the table, knocked the rest of the pizza on the floor, and ate it. Like I mentioned earlier, this dog wouldn't hurt a fly, but apparently she likes to hurt pizzas.

After a half-hour or so, it was time for nap/quiet time. Allyse went to her room, I closed the door and all was well. Of course, during quiet time it is essential to go to the restroom 5 times per hour and get a couple drinks too. (that was sarcasm, for those of you out there who do not...nevermind)

Anyways, finally, Allyse REALLY had to go to the restroom, and so I let her. About 10 minutes later, I heard a little voice coming from the bathroom.

"I think the toilet is overflowing"
"I put too much paper"

...Sure enough, I go into the bathroom, and the toilet has a plenteous amount of toilet paper in it, and is on the verge of overflowing.

After sending Allyse back to her room, I proceeded to get the plunger and after 30 minutes of plunging, the toilet decides it is not going to play anymore games, and decides to overflow across the whole bathroom floor. I guess the plunger wasn't very good at it's job.

Frusterated, I decided to leave the toilet alone, and rest on the couch for awhile while Allyse finished her naptime. After naptime, I decided to give the toilet plunging another whirl...this time, I have Allyse on the floor peering between my legs as I spend another 40 minutes trying to plunge the toilet.

*giggle giggle...*rolling on the floor (quite literally) laughing... "hahahaha Christina, maybe we should call the PLUMBER!"

..."yea, no kidding" (I never did get the toilet unplugged, they really had to call the plumber)

BUT THAT's NOT IT

so we decided to leave the toilet alone, cleaned up our mess, and decided to read some books and play around the house.

The entire house is surrounded by either neighbor's walls or a fence in the front, so it is very safe for Allyse to play and run around the whole house without a ton of supervision (a check up every 5-10 minutes is quite adequate)

Well, after cleaning up a little bit around the house, I decided to go find Allyse outside and make sure she wasn't getting into any trouble.

I walk out the front door, and what do I see?

That's right: child and dog, nose to nose, child on hands and knees, drinking out of the dog's outdoor water bowl... gross. She also proceeded to "kiss" the dog (when the dog licks the inside of her mouth)

After the bout of reprimandation (I made that word up... in other words: I gave her a nice lecture on germs and the grossness of dogs mouths), Allyse was brought inside...because she didn't need to get into any more trouble.

...Later on, she decided to chew on some chap stick. (because who wouldn't want to eat that smell-good white candy in the pink strawberry tube)

I don't know how else to end this story, so this is it. Hope everyone is having a great summer!

Sunday School Stories #2

Today my sister was teaching the 2-5 year old class, and wanted to have them all write a card for their mothers for Mother's Day. Along with the homemade card, each child was to give his/her mother a bag of chocolates. When she went around to help each child with their card, she got to John, and asked him if she could help him write his card. He readily agreed, and narrated this for her to write down:

Dear mommy,
Thank you so much for sharing your chocolates with me after church.
Love,
John

Tips From A Superhero #6

Sunday School Stories (gone awry) #1

I was designated the Sunday School teacher for the 6-8 year-old class over the winter. To make the class more interesting and to help the children remember the Bible story better, I would first read the story and then have the kids act it out.

Anyways...

The story of the day was: "The Parable of the Three Servants" (read Matthew 25:14-46).

After the story was read, I assigned each child a "position" or a role that they would have to play.
I had one child as the first servant, one as the second servant, one as the third servant, and one as the master
...our play was going well, (I even had the third servant go outdoors and bury his talent/coin in the church flower beds).

We finally got to the part of the story that goes like this: "His lord answered and said unto him, Thou wicked and slothful servant, thou knewest that I reap where I sowed not, and gather where I have not strawed...and cast ye the unprofitable servant into outer darkness: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth."

We had discussed earlier in the lesson that the place with "weeping and gnashing of teeth" is Hell, and is a place that no one would want to go.

...anyways... The young girl that I had playing the role of the master goes up to the young boy who was playing the third servant.

Master: "Hello, I am back from my journey, I have come to see if you handled my money well/wisely while I was away."
Third Servant: "Oh, I was scared and I buried your money so that no one could find it"
Master: "Well, then, you can go to Hell!"
Me: !!!!!!!!! "That is actually not what he said (insert some rambling explanation here) ...and we should not say that to each other EVER!!!...

...so kids, what did we learn today?"

Too Much Homework

That moment when you have so much studying/homework to do... that you decide to take a nap instead.

...story of my life

Motivation To Study

The Left-Armed Skill of Your Local Superhero

So it's Wednesday, Bible study night for our family and a couple other families from our church. After a wonderful night of studying the Bible, having fellowship with others, and playing a fun game of duck duck goose (ages 1-22), I headed home driving a minivan full of three energetic young'ins. (I was helping out a family from church). By the time the 30 minute drive was over, all three kiddos had fallen fast asleep in their seats. Score!!!

Anyways, as I parked the car and turned it off, the two older boys immediately awoke, unbuckled themselves and hopped out onto the driveway. I looked into the back seat and saw the 4 year-old fast asleep in his booster-seat, head drooping to his chest. His cuteness touched my heart, and I decided to carry him inside and gently place him in his bed.

Being that my right arm was full of bags/supplies, I skillfully unbuckled him with my left hand, and then with utmost precision and poise slung him over my left shoulder like a limp sack of potatoes. (Wait! did that make sense???! Oh, whatever... you get the point ;)

I got inside, (he was still asleep by the way), took off my shoes, and made it all the way into his bedroom without waking him. (and I was carrying him with my LEFT arm! I am so good).

Oh no! I had reached a dilemma! Little did I know, the room was shared by all three boys, and their were three beds to choose from. I placed all my bags and belongings on the desk, and turned to gaze at the beds, hoping, with all my heart, that this 4 year-old's bed was not the top bunk. (I am not trained in the skill of placing sleeping children in top bunks yet).

Anyways, I as I looked around the room studying the beds, I said to myself softly... "I wonder which one is his bed???"

Then, in my left ear, I heard a little voice say:















"That one's my bed"

ARE YOU SERIOUS! he was awake the WHOLE TIME!

...my left arm better not be sore tomorrow :/

My Opinion: Pinterest

Rating: 21/10

"What! No! you can't, you can't do that. Nope, you cannot have that high of a rating for something."

-Well, let me tell you... yes I can... unfortunately, a new thing has overtaken my life, my thoughts, my activities. Pinterest.

"Oh so that explains why you haven't posted anything on your blogs, hu?"

-Shhhhhh no. that's not it at all (just kidding, it really is) and I'm sorry.

-OK, so lets get into the rating system and why I've rated this website: Pinterest, so highly.

Pinterest is like an online pinboard onto which you can "pin" or save anything you pretty much can find online. If you are looking for a recipe  you can find it on Pinterest. If you are looking for new clothes, you can find cute ideas on Pinterest. If you want to do a craft, you can find ideas on Pinterest. If you need to plan a wedding, you can do it on Pinterest. If you want to laugh, go to the (Humor) section of Pinterest.

Pretty much, Pinterest is a huge time waster, and incredibly addictive, but it makes you happy, creative, crafty, inspires you to be skinny and cook a lot all at the same time!

Some people say that Pinterest was created by the men so that their wives start cooking more, cleaning, decorating the house, and workout a whole lot. I may just believe that to be true. But don't lose hope men... there are hundreds upon hundreds of things for the men to look at and do on Pinterest, such as... oh I don't know, nevermind.

Anyways, I suggest you all go make yourself a Pinterest account, and follow me:
http://pinterest.com/mschristinajoy

I have a lot of fun things I've pinned, and promise that you can receive your daily amount of entertainment from following me (just check out my: True Story board, and My Life In Words board)

Have fun!!! Happy Pinning :)

Ps. If you have any questions about Pinterest or how to use it, comment below, and I'll try to answer.

Napkins

Costumes

there are some cute halloween costumes

there are some quirky halloween costumes

there are some cheap halloween costumes

there are some creative halloween costumes

there are some that don't need halloween costumes

and there are some that look like this:

...when they see halloween costumes

Superhero Quotes (4)

 

 

"There's no shame in being afraid. Matter o' fact, we're all afraid. What you gotta do is figure out what you're afraid of, because when you put a face on it you can beat it. Better yet, you can use it. Looking back on what I said all those years ago, all the hopes and dreams I had, I've come to the conclusion that if having things turn out the way you wanted them to is a measure of a successful life, then some would say I'm a failure"

Tips From A Superhero #5

Do not spend your whole life on the computer. There are better things to do with your life.

...and if you do not know what to do with your life, at least spend some of the time and "find a perfect mate" either select below, or use: (Ctrl P)

Superhero Quotes (3)

Some people are like Slinkies - not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs. 

Things I'm Thankful For Thursday

- Theme parks
- Easy classes
- Buttery pasta
- Study guides
- Yawns
- Sneezes
- Good books
- Funny stories
- Finally having time to write in this blog :)
- This photo:

My Bi-Monthly Opinion: Chairs

Rating: 7

chair/CHe(ə)r/

A separate seat for one person, typically with a back and four legs.

I like chairs, most of the time. Chairs can be useful for many reasons. You can use them as a babysitting tool:

You can use them as transportation devices:

You can use them for your fussy baby:

and at school:

who knew... they even can be used at a drive through!

But there are some disadvantages to chairs, sometimes they are uncomfortable:

and somtimes they are too small:

much too small... 

 

Everybody Is A Genius

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” 

- Albert Einstein - 

One Last Update

Alright, Here's one last update before we go back to normal :) Maddox is now at home, after having 24 hours clear of any respiratory issues! Today his siblings wanted to go swimming, and surprisingly, Maddox did too!

I can't get the link for this, but his mom video'd him saying: "I'll be alright, Praise the Lord..." and "Thanks for praying for me!" It was so cute... anyways, below is a link that the news put out about him if you are interested :)

http://www.wmfd.com/local-news/single.asp?story=51591

Update

I just wanted to write this post to say that Maddox is now awake, talking, and walking normally. Praise the Lord! He does, however, have some pneumonia in his lungs, and has trouble breathing at times, so please continue to pray for his health.

Someone To Pray For

Hi all! I know this is not my typical post on this blog, but I feel that this is way more important issue right now. A family from one of our churches in Ohio almost lost their three year old son, Maddox, to a drowning accident yesterday, and is in dire need of prayer. 

Below is an update from the mother, Jenn (one of my Sunday school teachers when I was young):

We are asking for prayers from all who will fall at the feet of Jesus! We were in Windsor over the past few days on our annual summer trip with our children. While spending time a our friend's home yesterday (Tuesday), we all enjoyed a wonderful pool party hosted and surrounded by amazing friends. Many adults were present as the children played and had the best time playing in the pool! Each and every child was being watched closely and each one without the ability to swim at 100% had a life jacket on. I (Jenn) had taken off Maddox and Kennedy's life jackets during lunch so that they could eat more comfortably. Because of that, we are asking for prayers for Maddox (age 3).

Mike was playing and splashing in the pool with the children. Our son Jax (age 7) screamed to Mike telling him that something was at the bottom of the pool and it looked like Maddox. Even as Mike dove down for Maddox, Jax came screaming to me as well to assure he was doing everything he could. As Mike pulled up our son, blue and unconscience, our Heavenly Father providing a covering around Maddox from that moment on. Two friends became sudden heros and saved our sons life by non-stop CPR and mouth to mouth. While the four of us worked on the side of the pool to revive him, God orchestrated other angels to take over and call 911 as well as watch after the other children. They got them out to the front yard and another friend immediately had these children praying for Maddox. 

Maddox was sent to a hospital in Windsor. We asked them to send us to Michigan once his vitals were checked. They brought a Michigan's Children's Hospital ambulance to Windsor and they let me (Jenn) come with him. We flew through that border without stopping and he has been in wonderful care (both in Windsor and now currently in Michigan). He is in the Pediatric ICU and has been sediated with a tube helping him to breathe (40% oxygen). He does have fluid in his lungs, but the doctor is pleased that there is not more. The staff has told us over and over again that this is not the case with most situations like Maddox's. They are saying that in all of this, we are seeing "best case scenario". I told them we are seeing, "Our Lord God almighty at work and He is hearing the prayers of hundreds on Maddox's behalf." 

We cannot thank you each enough for the calls and texts. Although we are not responding to you, we are reading Maddox every text and thanking the Lord that our little boy is SOOO LOVED!!!! Mike will try to send an update tomorrow.

Maddox needs prayers, but please do not forget: 
-Please pray for Jax who found Maddox. He needs those images erased from his mind. Although I told him yesterday before we rushed to the hospital that "He is a hero!!! And the Lord put him there at that time to save his brother!", he is still very quiet about it. 
-Please pray for Aubrey and Kenendy as well as EVERY child who as at the pool party. Pray that this can be a time that they see the Lord's hand in answering prayers even at a young age. That they will never feel worried to bring even something so serious to the throne of God.
-Pray for our gracious hosts of this get together. Although an accident occured at their home, we want to pray that they remember that the Lord had plans for this day and He was and is in control.
-For the doctors to make wise decisions on the oxygen levels and sediation drugs being given.

Many have asked if they can help with the children. They have been well cared for from the moment we got Maddox out of the pool. My mom came up to be with them because we wanted her to be there with them overnight. They are in Canada with my mom and Aunt Jill (at the Janca's), but will be traveling back to Cleveland this afternoon. 

He can move the mountains...... Our God is MIGHTY TO SAVE,
Mike and Jenn Lamp 

Please pass this prayer request along to anybody who would be willing to pray for Maddox... Thank you!